Hullo - hullo - hullo...

[Stormrider]

Message 1 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 (Original Message) Sent: 8/22/2002 8:51 PM
Catching Up...

I have some important, if not shocking information to pass on: the period of the day is not firmly set nor well established in this world. In far northern latitudes the day, in summer, begins at 4 AM of the clock and stretches on into a lingering twilight that is not finally extinguished until very nearly midnight. (Note to the Canadian authorities: FIX YOUR CLOCKS!) A creature of the night by choice and by habit, I found myself somewhat disadvantaged "up there" although my rock-skills and finger-tip callous pads have both improved (measurably!) from the extra time available for climbing. If Popo gets me some pictures soon, I'll seek a scanner and attempt some postings here...

DaleAnn: Concerning Popo himself: that sly dog has lately learned to run up cliffs, and now excels at all the major crack-climbing techniques: "lie-backing," "paw-jams," and "doggie stems." But alas, after his bold start here at TR (concerning the Spanish translations of Tolkien) he has bogged down along the road just before Bree, somewhere in volume one, LOTR. I hope to have him up and going soon, but he has just sold his house and packed his books away -- temporarily.

Meanwhile I am researching ever more deeply the aspects of paganism/ Paganism found in JRRT's works and hope (soonishly) to dump about ten more pages on this site for just this narrow topic. In addition, a side road in my current study program has led me to half a dozen works on "Beowulf," and when that topic gets going here I should be well prepared (beware Zauber!).

Right now I am re-orienting myself to my home
environment and running through the latest on the TR boards -- lots to digest and respond to, LOL! One area of concern, for me, has arisen from the posting of the pictures taken at the Brandywine festivities. Although I am sure no one else has yet noticed this subtle, chameleonic quirk of the camera, I am now much more confused about the lineaments of DaleAnn's physiognomy than when her "face" was left solely to the whims of my own imagination. I strongly favour a Maiar origin for DA, as she seems so supple, if not merely careless, with her "outward appearances." Just as I was about to proclaim her irredeemability (Nazgul-DA), she sheds that horrid skin and changes her face to show the world a more satisfyingly floral visage. But does this make her an anomaly, or just another Tolkinesque enigma? Is this highly mutable DaleAnn a mere "plasticity" of modern allegory, or a disturbing example of the alienation effects that stem from too close a study of the themes of visual applicability?

Iarwain and Rivers: Great works you have accomplished with the Bombadil Study! I'll add some half-penny comments soon (not really a threat!).

And wow, the place is growing by leaps and bounds, my thanks to all responsible for making this such a grand site: the Managers (Algamesh, Glorfindle, Stormrider, DaleAnn (suitably masked), Iarwain, Rivers, AnnieLT, Soliel) and all the posting members! I am looking forward to another creative (or at least highly argumentative) period here with you all. (And that IS a threat! LOL!) ¡



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From: fallohide Sent: 8/22/2002 10:21 PM
Hullo, and well met! Welcome back!

fallohide


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Recommend Delete Message 3 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 8/23/2002 4:20 AM
Welcome back to home Karo,
You seem to have the nature and timing of Gandalf with your posting of that pronounciation link. I was having a bit of a nerve twanging debate with myself, and two new friends regarding the dipthong ie and vowel combination ië.
So you and Popo are both climbers, very cool. I climb at a wall, but the size of my feet (12) tend to make real climbing very difficult. I love to rappel though!
I hope you got rest and relaxation a plenty, and I look forward to any and all disertations regarding the ongoing studies or writings.
Seems Dragons always "lite" up a conversation.
Namárië,
Iarwain


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Recommend Delete Message 4 of 69 in Discussion

From: DaleAnn Sent: 8/23/2002 4:53 AM
Well, well, well, welcome home, Karo6! Just when I put my Webster's Dictionary back on the bookshelf, you return! How's that for timing! And leave it to you to take a whole paragraph ---
Right now I am re-orienting myself to my home
environment and running through the latest on the TR boards -- lots to digest and respond to, LOL! One area of concern, for me, has arisen from the posting of the pictures taken at the Brandywine festivities. Although I am sure no one else has yet noticed this subtle, chameleonic quirk of the camera, I am now much more confused about the lineaments of DaleAnn's physiognomy than when her "face" was left solely to the whims of my own imagination. I strongly favour a Maiar origin for DA, as she seems so supple, if not merely careless, with her "outward appearances." Just as I was about to proclaim her irredeemability (Nazgul-DA), she sheds that horrid skin and changes her face to show the world a more satisfyingly floral visage. But does this make her an anomaly, or just another Tolkinesque enigma? Is this highly mutable DaleAnn a mere "plasticity" of modern allegory, or a disturbing example of the alienation effects that stem from too close a study of the themes of visual applicability?
--- to say "I was beginning to think DaleAnn was Thuringwethil (evil skinchanger, maybe Maia, from the First Age) come back from the 'dead'. Then she puts flowers in front of her face, now I don't know what to think!
Do help Popo unpack or at least read LotR to him as he does the work!
Glad to have you home! -----DA



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Recommend Delete Message 5 of 69 in Discussion

From: Zauber Sent: 8/23/2002 7:23 AM
Greetings traveller, and welcome back. You have been missed! And I don't take your additions to the Beowulf study as a threat -- your comments (extensive as they may be) are always welcome and delightful. So post away my dragon friend!

But I do have to ask, why do you bother to climb up rock walls when you can so easily fly?

Zauber




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Recommend Delete Message 6 of 69 in Discussion

From: Olórië Sent: 8/23/2002 12:38 PM
Glad you're back, Karo. Also very glad to hear you'll finally be posting the long-promised continuation of your analysis of p/Paganism in Tolkien, thus relieving me of the obligation to whine publicly about its absence. Welcome home, and hurry up!

Olórië


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Recommend Delete Message 7 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/24/2002 5:51 AM
Hello Fallohide! It is good to be back, and I see you have been busy creating more discussion topics that leave my mind whirling as I leap for the references books... hmmm, is there a "native" Entish language (the Primal-Raw-Vegetable-Dialect???) akin to "the night speech of rock and plant" that Bombadil mentions? Besides, are we even sure wether Ents are vegetables or animals? Like your lightning storm report! WOW!

Iarwain: Glad the pronunciation site turned out to have some usefulness! Oh yes, umlauted letters versus dipthongs... "Eeeeeeeck!" Let's get Popo and go climbing, a much simpler syntax to learn! Er, size 12s! Wow, I can see where anchoring such "battleships" to the stone would be truly difficult! I have "cruiser" 9s and still complain that half the foot holds are too small to use... Ah, Popo is also very enthusiastic about rappelling, his reward for doing the climb in the first place! At Murrin Wall, near Squamish BC, the Pup saw some "young blonde chick" (with more muscles and peroxide than good sense!) doing face down, assault-style rappel-running -- now he wants "to do 'em like that!" I will, no doubt, soon be picking up the Popo pieces...

As to the unfinished dissertations, three of 'em coming up, and if I get really ambitious I'll let the gang here correct my mistakes and fill in my logic-gaps, and then re-write them as joint-effort statements.

DaleAnn: OK, OK, by now I should know that I am unable to slip anything past you at all, you are far more intelligent than I, equipped with a better memory, and your data-detail recall apparatus is superb; and if the sorriest of my truths be known, even your "Nazgul mode" is better looking than my usual morning face... Hmmm, I have been working out lately, "boxing" with Popo to see who would get the last candy bar, so maybe I am ready for a re-match out by the merry-go-round? (Looks at his stringy muscles -- Naahhh...)

Great idea, DA! I'll read JRRT aloud while Popo does all the packing! Oh, yes, got a call from Popo, his "Tellus" service (BEATS ME?) is down right now, but he sez he'll be online soon to correct all my mis-statements -- wonder what he means???

Zauber! Great to chat with you again! LOL -- the Beowulf Study sounds exciting and it will be my great pleasure to read your works on that subject, though you have a discomforting way of cutting straight to the heart of all the issues that leaves my dissertation format lumbering along under the handicap of its own sheer bulk... and speaking of pertinent and penetrating questions, yeah, why would a winged dragon need to climb the walls? This requires more cogitation, quite frankly, I do not know! This may even provoke a more philosophical answer, couched in draconic poetics, though I do hate to stir dem ole bones again...

Hello, Olorie´! Been quite some time since I got to pester you in person! What have you been up to lately? The boards here are getting very complex, deeply layered in fact, and I am starting to miss entire topics that are posted and then buried before I can get to them. Gasp, about time to work up an indexing sub-routine. I've read up on the Tom Bombadil lines and seen your posts there, but do you have any recent gems up the last month or two? I'll swap dissertations with you... er mine are coming, er, really, you know, like soon... LOL. And thanks for posting "The Fox" midi, I had the tunes all mixed up and was trying to sing the "Troll Song" to "Camp Town Races" -- less effective though more comedic.


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Recommend Delete Message 8 of 69 in Discussion

From: Popo Sent: 8/24/2002 2:39 PM
Hello all!

Oh, I promised myself that I would not pipe up until I had read at least two JRRT books in their entirety, and retained the contents - but as Karo6 so casually lets know, I am bogged down at present with the task of emptying a large house of its paraphernalia in a grand exercize of self-eviction in pursuit of better things...Besides, I have a little bone to pick!

What prompts me to react, first of all, is your kind gesture, DA. Thank you for enquiring after me, how kind! I'm fine but have been ultra occupied with, besides the moving preparations, the caring and feeding of a guest! It is then with a sinking heart that the momentary gratification felt by Karo's praise of my "climbing" abilities, became dampened by that word "sly"...Sigh, I'll have you know that my own pitifully few advances up rocky faces were done following the instructions of someone deficient in what exactly constitutes a "right" or "left" foot, and that if I succeeded in up-propelling myself, despite these extremely stressful conditions, it was solely due to my own canine sense of self-preservation, AND that the bulk of the "climbing experience" really consisted of tethering (otherwise known as "belaying") Karo to my brave self, in the consciencious effort of ensuring his own preservation. I could not take it for granted, after all, that his lateral directional confusion would not extend to "up" or "down". So, it is with blistered hands made very strong by the constant firm gripping of a life-saving rope at the end of which dangled an ingrate, that I bid you all hello, and plead for patience regarding the speed of my Tolkien reading, sigh...

DA, I adore your hat collection and particularly love the full head covering by a Happy Face! All the photos are wonderful, in fact, and I will certainly emulate you whenever my essentially happy outlook combines with a truly bad hair day!

Popo, host with the most, despite rumors!

From a land where the sun does sometime set, but - evidently - not often enough for some people! Oh and, we're working on the clocks thing - but ironing out the glitches with the seconds hand is a priority at the moment...




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Recommend Delete Message 9 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/24/2002 8:26 PM
Karo says:
"...and speaking of pertinent and penetrating questions, yeah, why would a winged dragon need to climb the walls? This requires more cogitation, quite frankly, I do not know!"

I know the answer.



Just take a look...
(the image posted here was lost)





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Recommend Delete Message 10 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/24/2002 11:20 PM
Megn1:

Of course, you know, this means war.


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From: sparrow Sent: 8/24/2002 11:20 PM
Karo6 & Popo, I don't believe we've met - Welcome back! I 'm glad you enjoyed the photos!


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Recommend Delete Message 12 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/25/2002 12:18 AM
The Smokey Green dragon lazily opened one eye. Something was prodding him uncomfortably. He rolled over. CRASH! Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.* The crystal cake platter which had been resting on his bloated belly fell to the ground and shattered. The events of the prior evening began to take form in his groggy memory.

Let's see... He had been warmly welcomed** to Sigevna's party - now there was a woman who understood dragons, and knew how to make one feel welcome! He had eagerly accepted the offer of cake, and was on the second mouthful when he said "Um, 'ow a'ou i ens?"*** Sigevna was liberally sprayed with cake crumbs.

"Pardon me?" Sigevna asked, her bright hostess smile looking a little forced.

SGD remembered the lesson about chewing before swallowing, and did so.

"How about my friends?" he repeated.

Sigevna looked over his shoulder. Three smallish orcs stood there. They stank. One gave her a cheerful wave. A second gave her a leer which made her skin crawl. The third was picking his teeth.

"Oh... er..." said Sigevna.

"Charmed, I'm sure." said one of the orcs. The three pushed passed her, helped themselves to cake, smiled to the other guests, and begin picking pockets, and stowing away odd valuables on their persons. The second orc was heard whispering to the first - at least he thought he was whispering, orc whispers are audible at 20 paces - "This 'rehabilitation' wheeze is the best gig we've worked yet. We didn't even have to fight to get in. And look at all this good loot."

A few moments later the orcs and SGD found themselves outside again, SGD still clinging firmly to his cake platter.

"What just happened?" asked the third orc. "You didn't tell us nothing about no rangers being at that party."

"Yeah, and who was the guy in the yellow boots?" asked another.

Our friendly dragon sighed. Being focused on his cake, he had not noticed the activities of the orcs. Being slightly hard of hearing, he had missed the stage whisper. "I just don't understand why we're so misunderstood. People are too prejudiced, too close-minded. Never mind, guys. I believe in you."

At this point, SGD was all for calling it a night. But the orcs were in a party mood, and insisted on returning to Megn's place. When they arrived, they found the gate was considerably strengthend.

"Nevermind, guys," the dragon said. "We can climb this wall. We can be inside in no time!"****

Nimbly he scaled the wall. His orc buddies tried to follow. But their size 14 feet just couldn't seem to manage it. Frustrated, they stood at the bottom of the wall and yowled***** at their disappearing friend. But he was humming a little ditty (sounding like "Camp Town Races) to himself, and didn't hear.

Once in the courtyard, without his odiferous friends, he was allowed a second helping of cake, so long as he smoked outside.

Exhausted, he propped himself against a tree, placed the cake platter on his belly, and began to munch.

Which brings him up to the present. He must have fallen asleep. He must still be at Megn's place. Which mean that the figure standing above him must be...

He squinted up at the tall, grim faced person before him.

"Party's over, Karo," said the figure. SGD realized that the thing which had been prodding him awake was uncomfortably sharp because it was the tip of a sword.

Muttering "sorry about your platter," he jumped up. A bound across the courtyard brought him to the wall. A few grunts and smoky gasps brought him quickly to the top, and over. He was gone.




*Extra credit to all Bombadil students who noticed the use of onomatopoeia.
**Look, alliteration!
***Some equally astounding poetic device, I'm sure.
****The answer to the eternal question "Why did the dragon climb the wall?" - Because the gate was closed.
*****Onomatopoeia, again!



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Recommend Delete Message 13 of 69 in Discussion

From: Glorfindle Sent: 8/25/2002 12:29 AM
ROTFLMGDAO Meg!!!! Wonderful. You know, you really should try your skills on the role play board, perhaps a little story with just you and little smokie. I am sure the fencing between you and Karo would have us all laughing, and in awe.

Glor


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Recommend Delete Message 14 of 69 in Discussion

From: DaleAnn Sent: 8/25/2002 7:16 AM
Megn1, I was standing on the other side of your wall unseen (because of my Columbo disguise, I'm sure) and watching to see how long Karo6 would be welcomed at your house. I was beginning to nod off when I heard a terrific "Ouch!" Before I could blink, there was Lil Smokey on top of the wall. His wings beat furiously but he landed with a painful THUD, right on that rugosa rose you planted a few years ago. Last I saw him, he was waddling away painfully with Orcs in tow.

Popo, good to hear that you weren't left dangling somewhere while that ungrateful guest of yours tried to figure out his left from right. Is he left handed by chance? The lefties I know (me, among them) are notorious for being directionally challenged. And glad you enjoyed the disguises. They were meant to bring "happy faces" to all. Take a day off from packing and read! ---DA





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Recommend Delete Message 15 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/25/2002 7:33 AM
It was a fading day, one of those last bright days that come toward the dying end of the
summer -- a quiet time for a final romp in the tall green of the grasses. Happy shouts, and playful songs rang against the steep shores of the river. Plumes of water rose to kiss the sky when swimmers dove into the streams from their high perches among the giant limbs of the bankside oaks. Those more inclined toward the practices of poetry sat in shaded bowers and worked their lips in the earnest search for words that rhyme; and lovers idled in yet deeper reveries, lost in the stilling pools of one another's eyes. A few grey-beards only muttered at the too bright sun, and cracked their arthritic jointed fingers, and worried, as they always did, that the busy harvest days were just around the calendar's next corner.

Then some small Imp came running, running harder and faster than mere summer's play would warrant, and a high, thin shrieking ever preceded that blur-legged creature, and suddenly -- panic filled the air. War.

War creates its own weathers, builds its own storm winds up, and broadcasts it's terrible presence with the speed of a burning bolt of twisted lightning. Death, destruction, the unburied, rotting corpses, the pillared smokes of burning crofts and villages put to the sword, all these grim images come neatly packed into that fearsome, single syllable -- War. The wind now carried the wailings of the widows and the frantic screams of the orphans, and brave farmers rose to clench their working hands into fists of vengeful hatred.

Roll Drums! Roll!

Come shake the spear and lift the sword
let iron's harsh voice be woken!
The summer's life is shattered now
and the hopes of peace are broken!

Roll Drums! Roll!
Beat out the muster call!
Battalions must be raised and doubled
for many soon will fall.

Gather here the boldest of your youth,
as each War teaches just this truth,
that the price of War is always paid
when the youngest blood has stained the blade.

Roll Drums! Roll!

Long horn calls came like brazen throated thunders that smote the hillsides round and broke into a thousand shouting echoes. From the byres, and from the holts, from the smithies and the shops the lock-step brattle of marching feet marked the muster of the Horde. Chain mail shook in clamouring peals, and fierce-plumed helms tossed like ships full-rigged upon a troubled ocean.

Of course when several good Orc Mothers had finally slapped some sense into the messenger Imp, and the full import of his yammer could be made public, cooler Goblin heads prevailed and it was agreed that only an expeditionary force should be mounted in a punitive advance upon the House of Megn. For though the details were still lacking, and the report was more confusing than informative, at least this much the Imp made clear:

"That awful Megn has poked our Dragon!"

A succinct and sufficient causus belli, as all good Goblins would agree! So volunteers were soon enlisted under the banner of the "Redeemed and Rehabilitated Orkish Forces" and this dimished host, a symbolic tally of nine (including the Imp), were despatched with all due ceremony to fight the Third Megn - Goblin War..


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Recommend Delete Message 16 of 69 in Discussion

From: Soleil Sent: 8/25/2002 10:30 AM
Welcome back, Karo! I see those long hours of concentrated Vit D have left you refreshed...renewed...rejeuvenated...envigourated...ready to 'reek' havoc.....and keep us in stitches!

In far northern latitudes the day, in summer, begins at 4 AM of the clock and stretches on into a lingering twilight that is not finally extinguished until very nearly midnight. (Note to the Canadian authorities: FIX YOUR CLOCKS!)

...north of the 53rd, those all too few and most welcome days of extended sunlight are just reward for equally long periods of moonlight (which would delight a creeper...er...creature of the night)!

I'm sure glad you chose the right one for climbing.....or is it a case of four legs being better than two and the canine led the smoker! ...ouch! blindsided by the Imp....

Soleil

[Stormrider]

Message 17 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/25/2002 4:30 PM
Greetings Sparrow! A pleasure indeed! Wonderful photos, that give us all a good glimpse into the festivities of the First Brandywine Day -- tremendous fun, good food, and convivial companions, the perfect recipe! And the bucolic vistas there look so wonderfully peaceful...

__________

Hmmmm. Glorfindle seems to be choking on a piece of Megn's cake, all I can make of his apparent plea for a good pounding on the back is "Rotti-Flamengo-Day-Ohhh!" Here yeh go, buddy!

*And a helpfully swatting dragon's paw connects with the flattened space between the choking Elf Lord's shoulder blades*

A piece of highly macerated, but still obdurate Megn cake, flew from Glorfindle's craw. Freed of that stifling burden he was able to dive back into the fray and started wrestling with the other guests to secure his fair portion of Sigevna's 7 Bean Salad...

___________

DaleAnn: just a few quick questions...

1. What were YOU doing outside Megn's compound at 3:30 in the morning?
2. What is a "rugosa rose," and better still, can Dragons eat them?

And then a final statement of self-defense: How may I be called an "ungrateful"* guest? Did I not tell Popo how "greatly"* I admired his culinary skills, his host craft was superb, and I only had to break two or three prized china plates before he fully understood that "hand-challenged" individuals should not be asked to help out with the dishes...

*extra points to Bombadil Students who recognized this "play-on words" as an elemental pun.

_________

Soleil!!! How are you doing in these dark days, as the carrion fowl of war begin to gather once again? And I recall, very well indeed how useful were YOUR *stitches* towards the end of the Second Megn-Goblin War. My thanks again, the wound has healed. And your information concerning equal play for long, long nights up north is duly noted! Midnight Sun sounds frightfully scorching, but a Midday Night beneath a crescent Moon sounds absolutely delightful! Popo, I'll see you in December! (Unpack the melmac!)

Humpf - just because that Pup of a Popo has better flexibility, balance, and leg strength, and he can reliably distinguish left from right 93% of the time does not mean that he is a "lead" climber yet! Besides, with a largely prehensile tail he has an unfair genetic advantage!


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From: Karo6 Sent: 8/25/2002 6:29 PM
Part I: Concerning the Origins of the Third Megn-Goblin War:

Now if we journey back in time, a few hours only will suffice, and we roll out the black of yesterday's night again, those readers who possess discerning eyes may see -- without editorial prejudice -- the actual unfolding of those momentous events that have laid in train the causes of this renewal of hostilities.


********


The Small Green Dragon had in hand a gilt edged certificate of "Free Admittance" to Megn1's birthday party. While the inks looked quite official, a closer view might just reveal that they were still wet and tended, under a pressing thumb, to run a bit and smear. Nonetheless the Dragon ventured into the Megn's lair, secure in the bonafide nature of this pass; for had not a mutual friend* given it him just now? The sweet, and "happy-faced" DaleAnn had met the Dragon in some alley, and pausing in her nightly muggings, she had made known that the SGD was welcome to attend the gala celebration of a wiser, more pacifically inclined Megn1.

*[Since the ending of the DaleAnn and Karo6 Wars, ages and ages ago, a sort of grudging friendship, and situation of mutual exploitation, if not outright respect, had grown up between DA and the SGD.]


********


"Ah, the passage of time brings wisdom then, even to the recalcitrant!" The Dragon opined quite graciously, and he was truly glad to find that Megn1 had mellowed as yet another year was added to her growing tally.

"Why certainly, Ole Batty Wings," said DaleAnn, in a tone made genially familiar, "She's quite seen the light, and has, in public mind you, expressed her desire to mend all fences, and even hopes that sometime soon she'll be able to cultivate the friendship of the goblins!"

His long, great jaws gaped in astonishment, and starlight glinted off an ivory tooth or two. "NO! You don't say, DA!"

"Oh, but I DO say, SGD, Ole Pal, I DO! And let me finish twisting a few more coppers out of Soleil here and I'll show you written, er printed proof!" DA turned her full attention then upon the struggling form of Soleil, and narrowly adverted a painful bite as the latter sought to protect her purse with tooth and nail.

"Here, here DA! That's our seamstress, you know, just
look at the fine silken stitches she gave me! Now you let her go at once!" And the Dragon lifted poor Soleil from the dusts and the dirts of the alley way, and even hailed her a passing cart. DaleAnn acquiesed in the freeing of her prey, the contents of Soleil's purse having been already transferred to the deep, deep pockets of her shabby trench coat...

"Ingrates! The pair of yehs!" shouted Soleil from the relative safety of her speeding conveyance. And you, Greeny Gruesome, I still have not gotten paid for all the needles I broke on your stiff hide!"

"Middle-earth Medicare is cutting you a check even as we speak!" The Dragon answered in crescendoing roars as Soleil passed from sight around a corner... "But what's all this talk of 'proofs' my dear DaleAnn?"

And the two strode off towards the most disreputable quarter of the aging town, each busy trying to pick the other's pockets. DaleAnn got only lint and a piece of string, but the Dragon struck gold! "Gimme dat!" DaleAnn grunted and snatched back the parchmenty roll of paper. Beneath the near full Moon they halted and adjusted both their night time visions to read the glorious document.

"Be it Hereby Known that ______________ and Three Companions, are Granted on This, Our Natal Day, a Gift of Free Entrance to Our Party."

All the official seals were properly appended, so it seemed, and in a bold flourish at the bottom was the unmistakable signature of Megn1 herself, and in small print below this came the all too authentic Megn formula: "BYOB, but Cake and plastic forks provided for all and sundry."

"WOW! That sure looks official, and I bet printing them up cost a pretty penny!" the Dragon whistled in admiration.

"Naw, they never cost me much at all... er, yeah, I'm sure Megn paid a packet fer these nifty Birthday Party Certificates. Anyways she told me just to fill your name into this here blank should I happen to tumble across your torpid form in some dark alley, and see here, with three guests of your choosing that'll raise her total to 144, quite a properly gross gathering! Eh? You know whud I mean?" A nudge or two and a short series of DA winks accompanied this latest of intelligences, as she scrawled 'Small Green Dragon' into the blank spot with a pen that dispensed its characters in gold-tone inks. Flapping the sheet a few times through the dank airs of Megn's ghetto, just to set the name, DaleAnn handed over the precious invitation and smirked broadly with her sallow, happy-face a glow. She only charged the SGD a silver penny for her scribal efforts, and watched as his hulking form shuffled off upon the task of securing three suitably reformed Orkish comrades for this night's adventure...

Spotting another set of marks, DaleAnn reached deeper than the Dragon had into a grimy pocket and produced another invitation. "Yo! Glorfindle, Sparrow, Zauber, Popo -- commere youse guys! You wanna go to Megn's party? Here, see I just fill in your name and you're entitled to go, and you can take all three of your buddies wid yaz!" This time two silver pennies were exchanged for the (redundant) privellege of being numbers 141 through 144 at Megn's celebratory bash...

Part II: Concerning the Origins of the Third Megn Goblin War:

A True and Impartial Record of What Occurred at Megn's Party and Thereafter at Sigevna's....


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Recommend Delete Message 19 of 69 in Discussion

From: DaleAnn Sent: 8/26/2002 8:57 AM
....And then DA was overwhelmed by a mob who blindfolded her and shoved her into a van. A short drive later, she was led into a room and made to sit on a straightback chair. A bright light shined into her eyes as the blindfold was removed.
"We hear you are now friends with that Small Green Dragon. What's up with that?"
DaleAnn choked on her laughter. "Who told you that garbage?"
Another voice, a woman's this time answered, "We read it on the boards." Another feminine voice added, "And we don't like it."
"Who are you people?" DA asked, squinting from the bright light.
"We used to be your friends...or have you forgotten Adventure in Middle Earth?" a familiar voice said.
DA recognized Glor's voice from the phone call at Brandywine. "Glor, who else is here?"
We are all here, you traitor."
"No! I swear I'm no traitor!" DA pleaded. "Please turn that light off...and I'll explain."
Annie turned the light away. "Go on, explain!"
"I was only pretending to be his friend. I still have all those plans for the DaleAnn Wars up here." She said pointing to her head. "All those things I told you about...I still want to do them. Really! I'm just pretending, honest!"
"Should we believe her?" Rivers asked.
"Yes! You can believe me. I just want Megn1 to soften him up for us."
Stormrider asked, "With cake?"
"Well, she did poke him with that sword..." DaleAnn's voice trailed off, for a moment. "I was hoping she'd poke him before the cake."
Algy and the others conferred for a minute out of the range of DA's hearing. Then Algy said, "Ok. We'll believe this time. Just be more careful."
"Oh I will. Gee I hope he eats that rugosa rose...." DA's smile was as big as her "happy face" hat.



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Recommend Delete Message 20 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/26/2002 11:43 AM
Megn stood upon the wall which surrounded her modest "bungalow." She gazed to the north, walked a little farther, and peered to the east. She countinued her circuit until she had squinted at all the points of the compass. Nothing could be seen that would disturb the peace of the countryside.

She had been looking for a hoarde of orcs, expecting torches, pitchforks, and drawn swords, since those are the accessories that usually accompany such a hoarde. But none was to be seen between the foot of her wall and the horizon.

She climbed down from the wall, and approached her informant. It was a young hobbit, named Alexa. Alexa had arrived an hour before, panting after a long run, and babbling something about orcs headed this way. Megn had calmly closed the recently strengthened gate, laid a small meal before Alexa (stack of six pancakes, six sausage links, medium-rare T-bone, a dozen buttermilk biscuits, and a bushel of fresh strawberries), and gone to investigate.

Alexa was now clearly feeling better. Megn asked for her story.

"I have this brother, named Oliver," she began. "Oh, and another named Charlie."

Megn nodded. This might take some time.

"Oliver has been acting strange lately, and then one day he wandered off. No one is worried, since that's normal for him. Seems this time Charlie went with him, so that's got the two of them out of our hair for now. Well, I've been real curious about them, and lately I've started dreaming about them. I see everything they're doing. Well, I don't see them, it's like I read about them. And I read other things, too. That's how I learned about your birthday party. It was a fun bash. Too bad that dragon ate all the leftover cake."

Megn nodded again. This phenomenon wasn't a complete surprise. The electronic communicating which had been flying around Middle Earth lately couldn't help but affect some of the inhabitants. She and her friends would have to be more careful.

"Well, last night, in my dream, I learned that there would be a host of orcs coming to see you, and avenge that dragon for the poking you gave him. At least, I think they were orcs..."

"What do you mean, 'think they were orcs'?" Megn asked.

"I'd probably better tell you the whole thing." And Alexa did, recounting the details of the post that had come to her in her dreams. "They kept talking about WAR," she concluded.

"Tell me again about the beginning part - before the declaration of war."

"I think I can remember it... It was something like It was a fading day, one of those last bright days that come toward the dying end of the summer -- a quiet time for a final romp in the tall green of the grasses. Happy shouts, and playful songs rang against the steep shores of the river. Plumes of water rose to kiss the sky when swimmers dove into the streams from their high perches among the giant limbs of the bankside oaks. Those more inclined toward the practices of poetry sat in shaded bowers and worked their lips in the earnest search for words that rhyme; and lovers idled in yet deeper reveries, lost in the stilling pools of one another's eyes. A few grey-beards only muttered at the too bright sun, and cracked their arthritic jointed fingers, and worried, as they always did, that the busy harvest days were just around the calendar's next corner."
Megn looked at the young hobbit in amusement. It sure sounded like she was spouting part of one of Karo's dissertations. When Alexa finished, Megn laughed out loud. She laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes. She laughed so hard she fell on the floor and rolled around and LMGDAO, which surprised both her and Alexa, since neither knew what that meant.

Catching her breath, and standing up, she resisted the impulse to pat the hobbit on the head. "Oh my," she said. "Don't you see?" Karo is talking about some OTHER world. Since orcs don't behave in that way, EVER, in Middle Earth, he must be describing something which is occurring in some other place. I mean truly OTHER. There are lots of them you know, though most are fuzzy around the edges, and some are fuzzy even in the center. You have to be careful, whenever you visit another place, that you don't accidentally fall through one of the gaping holes left by the creator. The Star Trek universe is particularly notorious for that. I've heard of similar dangers with Narnia, but most consider it worth the risk..."

Alexa reached up and tugged at Megn's cloak. She was clearly talking to herself now, and seemed to have forgotten the hobbit child.

"Not now," Megn said. "Go 'round to the kitchen and ask the cook to give you lunch. I have some thinking to do. Oh, and don't worry about those orcs. They aren't coming here. No, my furry-footed friend, we are red-blooded citizens of the good old true Middle Earth, known to one and all through the careful translation of the Red Book by our favorite professor. This world has no holes, and NO friendly orcs."

After the hobbit left, Megn continued to muse. "Well, I wonder where Karo has wandered. It isn't Earthsea, or Shanara, or Oz, or Dune, or any other place I know. Could be Wonderland - it's full of upside-down and backwards surprises. Or possibly he's been busy creating his own world. That's an admirable enterprise. Personally, I've always been content with M.E., but I've noticed a disturbing tendency in Karo to want to make changes. Can't be done, you know. Tears at the fabric of creation."

A sudden, frightening thought occurred to Megn. Perhaps that is what Karo had done! Had he been meddling with reality, and accidentally torn a hole in the fabric of Middle Earth? She was momentarily frightened for the safety of her world, but then she remembered how durable it is. Many had tried before. Even Peter Jackson had attempted a scratch or two, but none could succeed. A hole might be made, but it would heal. M.E. would live forever. But what of Karo? Where was he? Had he made a hole, fallen through, and disappeared from M.E.? Was he in danger? Perhaps a rescure mission should be attempted. She would have to confer with DaleAnn on this...













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Recommend Delete Message 21 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/27/2002 9:53 PM
Uh Oh... Very clever Megn! I'm not sure how to counter this! LOL -- thinking, thinking...


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Recommend Delete Message 22 of 69 in Discussion

From: Glorfindle Sent: 8/28/2002 12:41 AM
Uh Oh...a one line post from K6......enough to make anyone quake in their boots.

Glor


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Recommend Delete Message 23 of 69 in Discussion

From: Stormrider Sent: 8/28/2002 7:25 AM
Yep! Meggers has him stumped on this one! Way to go Megn! Whistle, Whistle, hoot! Confetti, streamers, trumpets blowing! The crowd does the wave thing!

Stormrider


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Recommend Delete Message 24 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/28/2002 9:42 AM
Thanks, Stormrider, but I know this dragon too well to get overconfident.

I hope no one is keeping score...


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Recommend Delete Message 25 of 69 in Discussion

From: Stormrider Sent: 8/28/2002 10:18 AM
Megn:

Of course, I know SGD will come back with something interesting. I'm just congratulating you for the fact that he commented above:

"Uh Oh... Very clever Megn! I'm not sure how to counter this! LOL -- thinking, thinking..."

Albeit it is a small triumph on your part, you have made the wheels in his small pea sized brain turn and swirl a bit!

Stormy


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Recommend Delete Message 26 of 69 in Discussion

From: sparrow Sent: 8/28/2002 10:10 PM
Chronologically, this passage best fits immediately after message 14
*******************************************************

A small brown bird had avoided notice while perched on the fence outside Megn's place. At times shielding her head under her wing, Sparrow had nonetheless observed the evening's events from her vantage point a safe distance from the affray.

When Sparrow first saw the Small Green Dragon approaching, she had been excited. The little bird had looked forward to meeting Karo6, having heard much of him around Megn's place. However, she became alarmed when his companions came into view. At the sight of the allegedly rehabilitated orcs, a deep sense of foreboding filled Sparrow, and she realized she must advise Gwaihir the Windlord, who was sojourning with some of the Great Eagles not far off, as the birds fly.

Swift and sure Sparrow flew, arriving at the eyrie while the night was still young. Only after she had reported the intrusion of the orcs did Sparrow accept refreshment, while Gwaihir led a trio of eagles to Megn's place. Consigned to the care of the eagles, Sparrow received fresh, cool water and choice nuts and seeds. Taking only enough to sustain her on her journey home, Sparrow set out and returned to Megn's shortly after the eagles had arrived. As the limping Karo6 led the orces away from Megn's, the eagles swooped down, clutched two of the tough orc hides none too gently with their claws, and carried the orcs back to the Orc Rehabilitation Halfway House.


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Recommend Delete Message 27 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/29/2002 1:17 AM
Incidents of Engagement - More "Pre-Party" Preparations!!!

Off to recruit three brave companions, the Small Green Dragon raced quickly through the inky darkness and soon found just the sort of chaps he wanted for this "party introduction" where they might exchange, in civilized fashion, their views with the reputedly new and mellowed Megn. These sterling representatives of the "rehabilitated" Orkish kind would surely be convincing examples of the "redeemabilty" of their mis-understood and often hated race.


********


The "Goblinic Inklings and Barovian Orkish Tea Society" (GIBOTS) was holding its "Ideas Fest" this evening in a graciously integrated tavern, "The Rolling Pony." Here Lug-smug, Smurf-grim, and Schlap-dash, all products of the finest rehabilitative efforts, were holding forth in sportive debate with Nazgul, Popo, Olorie, Algamesh, Galadriel, Fallohide and some seedy, weedy-looking character in a travel-stained, dark green cloak and hood, who called himself "Trotter," or "Galloper" or "Strider" as the varying moods and whims of the evening took him.

The whole place roared as a non-descript, rotund, and balding fellow in a sloppy tweed jacket entered: "NORM!" He waved his acknowledgement in a hurried fashion, and plowed into the bar. "Gimme a cold frosty one, Sammie!" and being served by the Breeman bartender he promptly blended into the mottley crowd, and has, for this night's tale no more participatory value.

"Now lookee here, Ole Pup," Strider was making his point more emphatic by thumping a long-stemmed pipe against Popo's red-gold, furry chest* "the basic matter that we must first dispose, is just WHO has the interpretative rights to this literary property of Middle-earth! Now last time I was chattin' away with Megn, she seemed mightily to favour the 'absolutist' position that a book can have but one, orthodox meaning, and that all other interpretations verge upon a sort of literary heresy. And being a stout monarchist, and therefore a stouter conservative, I think I quite agree with her."

"Precisely, Trotter, Ole Boy! Megn's latest editorial," and here Popo snapped a sheet of printed foolscap above the table, "does argue well THAT very point, demanding a strict interpretation of the Red Book of the Westmarch -- lest its 'orthodoxy' become confused and its interpretation tainted. But JRRT himself" (and at the mention of these august initials, all those in the Rolling Pony made a reverential -- but non-religiously sponsored -- bowing motion) "has many times declared that in order for Middle-earth to be viewed as a living, 'REAL' entity, one must first accept the fiction that the Red Book is simply the Hobbit-Elvish view of things, and that a selection of alternative documents and a reading of the history of Arda through alternative perspectives -- say an Orkish one? -- would perforce be equally valid and legitimate."

"Hmmm, so you are telling me that Tolkien," (another reverent dipping of chins into chests occurred) "was forced by the dynamics of his own writing to leave open the doorway of 'alternative interpretation'?" Galloper sat back hard, in disbelieving dismay into the circling arms of his chair, and let loose his breath in a smoky cloud of distainful exhalation.

"It is well-known, and better attested, that Tolkien," (more head bobbing here) "was a strict conservative, a Bible-thumping RC fundamentalist, and a practical Ludite; although debateably he was more advanced in his racial and gender views than one might expect given the Edwardian-Victorian periods of his intellectual formation, BUT," and Popo barked this last syllable "none dare accuse him of overt inconsistency! To subsume the rise of Evil under his Boethian-Roman Catholic tradition, JRRT" (just visualize for yourselves, please, a bouncing set of heads each time "The Master's" name is mentioned) "had to strip all dualistic notions from his Middle-earth histories. He was therefore limited to the view that there is only ONE creator god, and therefore the Orcs must be derived from some source originally conceived by this all-good, all-powerful creator. The Orcs, are thusly, endowed with the primal nature of the Elves, a shock to even Tolkien, I imagine, when, after the fact, it became all too evident just what this would entail: according to the RC faith, the Orcs MUST be redeemable!" (see Letter # 153, p. 195)

After delievering himself of such a weighty peroration, the Golden Pup dropped his long snout into a tall and cooling glass of ale -- it was not at once obvious if he were actually drinking the stuff or just blowing bubbles into it, but either way the gurggling pause allowed another voice to take up the argument.

Schlap-dash, a handsome, squint-eyed fellow with a midnight complexion and fine, hard, sharpened teeth was regarding Megn's printed dissertation with some measure of perplexion. "Well, just what does this stuff mean?" And he read in a fine, clear voice, though somewhat tending toward the basso, " 'Don't you see?' Karo is talking about some OTHER world. Since orcs don't behave in that way, EVER, in Middle Earth, he must be describing something which is occurring in some other place.' Hmmm, now this is astonishing, who is this Megn to say how Goblins behave when they are elsewhere, and not being used by Hobbit narrators as stock-stereotypes of 'Evil' in some Elvish story? For example," and here Schlap-dash paused long enough to rescue his own beer from the sly paw of a covetous Popo, "we all know that Elves are 'Good Folk,' right? Cause Tolkien told us so! But he also reveals, if one looks a bit further, and digs more deeply into the historic documents of Middle-earth, that the Elves do not ALWAYS behave according to 'Miss Manner's' strict code of Elven decency!"

"That's right," squealed out a shortish fellow with a bushy black beard, and he introduced himself as the Petty Dwarf Mîm, "These 'goody-goody' Elves hunted my folk as animals, and slaughtered us in the dark woods long ago, and stole our lands and caverns!" (Sil. 250)

Before poor Mîm could break out into fuller tears, an Elven figured leaned close, drew his silver straw from between his lips, put his mug o' ale down, and added in a confidential whisper: "Yes, and that's not all, we Elves have even committed theft, rape and murder amongst our own kind, though the 'normative' image of our lineage, found in both the Hobbit and the LotR, might lead the uninformed and unsuspecting reader to believe us constitutionally incapable of such enormities..." he sat back then, and sighed a deep, Tellerian Elven sort of sigh, and brooded upon something he referred to only as "That unfortunate incident at Alqualonde..."

"So just what does all this dirty Elven linen have to do with the question of how Orcs should behave?" Strider-Trotter-Galloper asked with a certain tone of exasperation.

"Just this!" shouted Smurf-grim. "If Elves do not conform to a single type of NORMATIVE behavior, then why should we expect Men, Dwarves, or even Goblins to be always tied to just one set of character traits? Tolkien does not tell us EVERYTHING that happened in Middle-earth, because he does not know himself the full histories --he only reports on the bits and pieces he found inside the covers of the Red Book, and a few other tattered, biased documents left behind to moulder when the Domination of Men began. So, there is a great deal of room left in Middle-earth for many types of secondary sub-creation, wherein the reader engages his or her own fancy in the further unravelling of this mighty tale. I say there is room in such an unfinished, and living Middle-earth, for even the Orcs to find a pattern that brings them safely to their own form of redemption."

Here came a thunderous burst of what seemed to be concurring applause, but upon closer inspection it could be seen to emanate from the other side of the long, low, common room where Galadriel had just finished her haunting digeridoo performance of the "hooming" melody, "The Cry of the Ents at Dawn."

Lug-smug then picked up the floundering thread of this night's debate and spoke his grave concerns regarding Megn's implied absolutism, and he described how the age old clash of "relativism" and "absolutistism" was reborn in this discussion, and how Megn's demand to see all things in strict terms of Black and White actually violated the sense of reality that Tolkien had himself introduced to Middle-earth.

"Megn, it would seem, is disturbed by change, feels somehow threatened when the wider and wilder world closes in upon her isolationistic, Hobbit view! Her version of Middle-earth seems rigid to my way of thinking, it has no vitality, it is static, root-bound, and cannot grow. She seeks to constrain Middle-earth into a narrow sort of morality, and when the place threatens to breathe on its own, to toss off her shackles and grow to find its own patterns of fulfillment, she cries 'heresy' and clamps down hard and fast! I think this leads her to articulate an overly-defensive posture towards Middle-earth, and to maintain that there is an othodox version of the place, and that her vision of it is the correctly "normative one that Tolkien would wish us all to cherish... "

"Oh, come now, surely you go too far," Galloper contested, "I grant all you Goblins, that Megn's printed words seems staunchly defensive of this 'orthodoxy' she perceives in Tolkien, but you must admit the cogency of her point that Tolkien would prefer to see his Orcs as totally evil, totally souless things, mere 'sword fodder' for his heroes."

"Oh yes, we Orcs never said that Tolkien was, from our point of view, a happy, pleasant sort of fellow!" cried Lug-snug. "For Tolkien, in our Goblinish opinion, is just as cantankerously prejudiced against us Orcs as Megn herself. But so what? JRRT set up the rules of this Middle-earth, and then agreed that even as the author, he must abide by the 'sub-creative' formula he manufactured, he must not violate the consistency of the rational, logical playing-out of its history. So even Tolkien's own expressed 'likes and dislikes' may not undo the ruling logic of this story -- Orcs, twisted and forced into evil deeds by the renegade Valar, Melkor-Morgoth, are, nonetheless, by virtue of their original creation as Elves by Eru, entitled to a just redemption."

At this point, a frustrated Trotter rose shouting "Sophistries and blasphemies! I'll have your heads for this!" And he gripped in fierce determination the hilts of his great sword... Of course this action merely provoked a long and general laughter, for when he drew that storied blade, Narsil, it could be seen at once that its biting-reach had been severely curtailed. The once mighty heirloom of the 'Kings of Men' was sheared away and broken just below its handle. Spluttering curses in some archaic Numemorean dialect, Strider dashed from the room looking for a blade of lesser lineage but greater, effective length and bounced off the great, round belly of the Small Green Dragon.

"Hey! You three uglies with the silver tongues, we gotta a party invitation!"

Olorie, Popo, Nazgul, Galadriel, Fallohide, and Algamesh all jumped up hopefully and started for the Dragon. "Naw, sorry folks, I meant THESE three ugly Goblins, but if you catch up to DaleAnn, I'm sure she can arrange certificates of admission for you all!"

The gang nearly trampled the Dragon into the sawdust of the floor in their scramble to issue forth into the gloomy night and track down the wonderful DaleAnn!


********


Part III - in which, at last, we FINALLY (assuming there be no more dislocative interruptions -- but really looking forward to more of such) reach Megn's bash, and answer Stormrider's taunting in full! And also get to gobble lots of really good cake!!!

___________

*Popo is a Golden Retriever, NOT a hairy type of Orc -- as his photographic avatar on page 2 of "The Tolkien Ring Fellowship" album should make plainly clear even to those afflicted with the most severe of xenophobias!


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Recommend Delete Message 28 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/29/2002 3:13 AM
SGD - OOC

Ah, Sparrow, a nicely written and welcome diversion! Hmmm, let's see, I think that the main-line is just now getting thru its "flashback" series, and after the poor, misunderstood Orcs have finally left Sigevna's and then been ejected from Megn's -- with "poke" applied -- they will be sequentially ready to handle this unforseen new terror, "The Menace of the Birds!"

Sigh, Part 4! ? LOL!


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Recommend Delete Message 29 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/30/2002 5:17 AM
Ah, Karo6! You know me too well. A little judgemental and close-minded in your way of expressing it, but you are actually correct.

As it happens, I am not insulted by the idea that I would be perceived as someone who believes in absolute truth, over relativism.

And who accused Popo of being an orc?


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Recommend Delete Message 30 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 8/30/2002 3:11 PM
OOC Statement<?B>

MEGN1:You'd better not be insulted! Harumph! I have far too much respect for you as both a creative writer/ thinker and a fellow wanderer in Middle-earth to ever intend any insult -- studied or accidental! (Trading comedic assaults is not insulting to anyone -- though it often borders the impertinent!)

Your staunch belief in absolute values, Megn, is highly commendable as one of the alternative paths available to a questing humanity in need of answers to those same old questions that are always asked, but rarely ever settled. I merely feel more comfortable "drifting" in a philosophical environment where relativity holds greater sway -- just not sure enough of anything yet to assume a stance of certitude.

Sigh, yes, and you know my manners of thought and expression well enough to be right on the mark with your counter-obsertvations, "close-minded and judgemental." (Oh the pain!!! to think that I am so transparent!)

Perhaps it is in the very nature of the Tolkien material that it attracts students with strong belief systems and even stronger interpretive opinions -- Middle-earth becomes "real" so easily because it can be so deeply internalized, and personalized. Each of us sub-creates, or sub-sub-creates her/ his own Middle-earth, and we (ok , I) can become defensive when we find that other versions compete with, or even seem to threaten our own. At such moments, I think "light-hearted" but still serious engagements like these (found above in the threads of the "Orc-redeemability" issue) give us a means of exchanging differing interpretations in a way that, I hope, defuses normal defensive hostilities and allows us all a greater appreciation of the variety of sub-created visions that we readers can construct.

So, even in the "give-and-take" of our earnest banter here, I am learning how to examin my own thoughts and beliefs by comparing them to other, alternative, but equally (sometimes moreso) valid ways of interpreting the same material. This involves, for me, some self-criticism, some self-doubt, and occasionally some needed alterations in beliefs I may have long cherished. Sigh, under your tutelage, Megn, combined with data presented at TR by others, I have -- screaming with reluctance -- been forced by logial, rational suaision to alter my image of Tolkien the Man. I think your reading on his character, his motivations, and his mind-set are far more realistic than were my own, OUCH! Growth usually carries with it a certain amount of discomfort, but at least the ability to feel such pain is a good indication that one still lives! (Everything aches today, not just my Tolkien interpretations -- a long, hard climbing session on Thursday with a 73 year old who consistently out-performed me -- Oh, the pain! How fully I must be experiencing LIFE today!)

Besides the absolute fun of trying to string words together into sensibly pleasing paragraphs, my defenses of "relativism" against "absolutism," in this "tongue-in-cheek" format allows me to surrender some of my other Tolkien preconceptions more gradually, and thus eases the pain of this transition as I revise all my thoughts and images of Middle-earth.

And now I've got to pursue the "party" aspects of the poor Goblins as they seek to establish their right to equal respect in this off-shoot version of Middle-earth! And, good-grief, there is even a new assault to be faced here, what with Sparrow calling in the Eagles!!!

i


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Recommend Delete Message 31 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 8/31/2002 8:39 PM
Yes, yes! Back to the fun and silliness. I can't wait to hear your version of my party.

Sorry to step out of character there for a moment...

But just one word more on absolutes vs. relativism:

If I hold a ball in my hand, and release it, it WILL fall.
If I wait sufficient time, the sun WILL rise (at a precisely predictable time, based on my location). It will also set again.
If I build a sand castle by the ocean at low tide, it WILL be washed away.
Anyone and anything which is born WILL someday die.

There are absolutes. Whether we like them or not. The trick is to discern which apparent absolutes truly are, and which are illusions, coincidences, or mis-interpretations. Human beings do not create the absolutes. They discover them.

[Stormrider]

Message 32 of 69 in Discussion

From: Popo Sent: 9/4/2002 2:41 PM
Of Wisdoms Held Within the Bubbles of Potent Brews, Or Concluding Perorations When Bereft of Eloquence...

The weighty debate du jour had been going on for hours at the Rolling Pony without the slimmest hope of an agreement being reached on how exactly to attain Redemption, or even what it meant, and the air reeked of the integral complications hidden in all philosophies... Ah, how simple it had been when the grab-bag of rehabilitatees, now adopting an irritating air of deliverance from their sinning ways without any evidence to support the claim, could be deemed nothing but the unfortunately necessary contrast upon which to determine what was "good"!

But the records of their pedigrees had gradually found root in the nebulous soil of their understanding - by what agency nobody knew, some thought it the gesture of a misguided hobbitish informant in search of his own personal brownie points to salvation - and now, duly unionized and duly acronym-ized, the GOBITS crew of motley JRRT's creations gathered on occasion for the heady goal of practicing "equality and brotherhood", usually by means no more sophisticated than finger pointing and expostulating on their respective dirty laundries, thumbing the Pub's thesaurus - and the headier prospect of drinking themselves into an absolving stupor! And so it was that in the small hours of this morning, all harangues exhausted into inconclusive tatters, the only sound still rising above the collective cacophony of gurgling snores was Popo's determined slurping of his last drops of ale. About lay Schlap-dash's scrawled minutes of the meeting, and neatly circular coda... "Resolved: The doctrine of Redemption is a fundamental stumper and requires everlasting life in which to try to understand it, which requires Redemption! Pass the plonk!"

Popo's ale bubbles-induced musings, however, had more practical applications. Besides, he had a party to go to, and no retriever ever went anywhere empty handed! The Lady of Undeniable Absolutes would be celebrating her birthday soon and, the sun having risen (or the Earth turned, as his erstwhile Orc pal Rosencrantz would have it, but what did he know...) it was time to do some redeeming and a handy Orc whose incipient intellect went no further than the ability to grunt his descriptive name during roll-call (Grunt!), seemed the ticked, and the currency. Rolling the insensible creature onto his back, Popo galloped post haste to ME's most friendly and accommodating General Store und Barter Shoppe!

"I need some items!" he grunted, plopping Grunt onto the nearest counter. "Something for my Ole Pal, the Mightily Verbose Karo!"

"Duct tape, perhaps?" - profered a rotund Herr Bilbisch, smiling from here to there...

"Got that already! Doesn't work, but he suffers from a Prez-Fordian inability to munch and carry on at the same time, so - his favorites! - got some Crunchy Skor Bars, Canadian version? - oh, and groats, the gist of his argumentative powers, kinda thing... Oh, and some unbouncing balls garanteed to fall and no more when released, for my Lady Honoree?"

"Absolutely!" - and the unctuous keeper of the eclectic shoppe busied himself gathering the purchases...

"Goody! Now, I'd like to redeem this chap for the items, if you dont mind...

"An untermensch! Mein Got!!"

"Redeemable and good as gold, don't you know? From the very statutes of the GOBIT local. Wanna ask them...?"

And so it was that Grunt began his long rehabilitative journey towards salvation by the arduous task of learning to sweep and not smote the shoppe floor, and Herr Bilbisch painted over the word "BARTER" from his sign and substituted "CASH ONLY"...And Popo galloped away with his presents, a single thought on his mind...

CAKE!









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Recommend Delete Message 33 of 69 in Discussion

From: Glorfindle Sent: 9/4/2002 4:12 PM
Ecellent, Popo. The redeemability of Orcs finally answered once and for all!! I am rolling in laughter and reaching for a Skor bar.

Glor


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Recommend Delete Message 34 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/4/2002 10:19 PM
I lift my golden brew to you, Oh Golden-Furred One!

Truly you have found the truth, at last. Orcs are indeed redeemable - but only one per shopkeeper. Then they shift to a cash basis only.

Cake is in a dish, waiting for you!


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Recommend Delete Message 35 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/4/2002 11:40 PM
A long, war-weary sigh escapes me this eve... Are we back for more? I'll have to do some extra recruiting. I think I am engaged now on three fronts at least. But to think I'd live see to things come to this sort of dismal pass -- checking my fangs -- about time for a little newsworthy latin "Draco canem mordet!"


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Recommend Delete Message 36 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/5/2002 1:13 AM
Okay, now you've intrigued me into asking, "Draco canem mordet" ?
Draco-Dragon, easy enough
canem- at twilight, or "with twilight comes"
mordet-? perhaps my Latin is too rusty and limited for this one, but I suspect "morsus" is the base verb form which means "bite or sting" however my conjugation is quite weak so I'm guessing "With twilight the Dragon bites back"?
I only bring this up as I'm not sure how versed at Latin any of us here are, and I was in doubt on my translation. So are we to take this as an absolute?
In regards to Megn's "absolutes" I don't want to take sides here, mainly because I am enjoying reading the ongoing debate, but in regards to your examples one could employ several sciences or enviroments such as physics, cosmology, cyrogenics or genetics to nullify your examples. Sorry, although I'm not on either side of this, I do so detest absolutes and strive for anarchy at every turn.
Namárië,
Iarwain


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Recommend Delete Message 37 of 69 in Discussion

From: DaleAnn Sent: 9/5/2002 8:11 AM
Iarwain: it's "The Dragon bites the dog."

Popo: I read this yesterday and I'm still laughing.
But, darn I wish I knew that duct tape didn't work...I just bought a case of it.
Go enjoy your cake...you deserve it.


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Recommend Delete Message 38 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/5/2002 1:05 PM
So "canem" refers to dog-canis not not twilight! %$^#@ knew I should've used the book! Thanks DaleAnn it makes more sense now, but poor Popo as I understand it Dragon's mouths can be mighty odoriferous. And has Karo had his shots?
Namárië,
Iarwain


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Recommend Delete Message 39 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/6/2002 1:32 AM
HARUMPH! And SNORT!

A largish cloud of steaming dragon's breath -- fresh minty-clean from frequent bushings and deep gargglings -- settles over this scene...

Duct Tape, DA? How futile! The adhesive powers of its binding goo simply will not grip on the slicker surfaces of polished dragon scales, and the fabric, even in a multitude of frantic wrappings has not the strength to shut the gape of these great jaws!

Iarwain -- you make the mistake of all gifted linguists, they frequently "over" translate! LOL -- but I like the image! "With twilight the Dragon bites back"!!! Hmmm, I bet I steal this phrase within the week...

Then, rubbing a very sore shoulder after a visit to Soleil's Free Clinic and Stitchery, I can tell you that I have recently been "needled" into a state of complete immunity, and am incapable of transmitting any serious diseases -- even to a well-bit Pup!

But regarding Popo himself, I hear he is working up more latin, a pure country song to be yodeled beneath a slivered Moon... So perhaps some direct, response to his missive above, is required after all?


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Recommend Delete Message 40 of 69 in Discussion

From: Popo Sent: 9/6/2002 12:22 PM
*cough, cough, cough!*

Uh oh! As the august individual who inspires and confounds this entire community (no, not you Karo!) once stated "It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him" But I am a being possessed of infinite patience and a mild disposition, and it takes more than a nip by a bilious, bat-winged perennial sneezer to ruffle my coat, or consider the bother of mordere back worthy of my canines, sigh...No. At most, my calculations stop at plans to stock up on yards of hankies for Sneezy here, and sou'westers for the rest of us!

Anyway, and by contrast - DA, Megn, Iarwain, Glorfindle - you are all so nice! The cake is delicioussss!

Iarwain: I am impressed by your efforts to decipher Latin! It was the bane of my puppyhood and you did so much better without a book than I ever managed surrounded by dictionaries. I leave you a little adapted Roman marching song for practice... Easy coz many of the words have remained the same through the centuries, though the accompanying instrument gradually shifted from lyre to banjo...

Fumosus Draco Senex fundum habuit...
E - I - E - I - O!
Et in hoc fundo nonullas boves domesticas habuit...
E - I - E - I - O!
Cum Moo Moo hic et cum Moo Moo ibi...
Hic una Moo, ibi una Moo,
Ubique una Moo Moo...
Fumosus Draco Senex fundum habuit!
E - I - E - I - O!

To your question: "Has Karo had his shots?" - dunno! But as a pacifist I find this a bit drastic at this point...Maybe a few warning volleys with blanks will do fer now? Oh and, whatever else he may say on the subject of moi, don't believe a word! Adhesive barriers may not stick, but he has admitted to having been "needled" and I'm eyeing an old and still functional staple-gun. Nah! I'll stick to gooey candy bars for the nonce...

Popo


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Recommend Delete Message 41 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/6/2002 12:56 PM
Popo,
Indeed Latin is a bane as well to me, but I try taxonomy and medical Latin mostly.
What a brilliant idea for a language study Popo take a familiar song and translate into the language you wish to learn, two entries into the mind the known and the needed. Had I known the gifted levels of Canine logic, I would have long ago stopped annoying Humans and the occasional Dragon for edification. Truely Popo your pedigree is unempeachable and should you like Latin Dames I might be able to set you up with my Chihuahua Choco. She's got long brown coat, great markings, and she's on the rebound. Just broke up with the Poodle accrossed the street. He was the quintessence of Parisan vanity, where Choco is more the let's take the toyota out for a spin and hit Taco Bell.
So with your permission I would like to incorporate your idea in a lesson or two. I know the copyright problems but woory not all problems go my way any profits go our way. Deal?
Hey by the way here's a picture of Choco (Sniffs and barks hello)

place holder for picture

Namárië
Iarwain



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Recommend Delete Message 42 of 69 in Discussion

From: Zauber Sent: 9/6/2002 1:33 PM
Oh Popo you dog you! I am going to get in trouble, laughing so hard!

So, dipping into my past, and pulling up some very old Latin, I translate your poem as:

The Fuming dragon had an old bottom,
and on this bottom he had domesticated cows.
With a moo moo, etc.

Somehow, I can't believe that is what you are saying. Perhaps someone else will jump in here and help!! Zauber




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Recommend Delete Message 43 of 69 in Discussion

From: Popo Sent: 9/6/2002 2:31 PM
Taking another little break from packing...

Iarwain! "Ay, Chihuahua!" - what a cutie Choco is! Though my heart is taken, I'm always open to friendship - and she's certainly better off with a new friend than with a froggish, half-shaven heart-breaker, compelled to eat revolting and fattening croissants...Tacos it is! And you're welcome to any ideas that lead to - magic word - "profits", deal!

Zauber: LOL! I became stuck trying to decipher hobbit runes recently, so I admire agile minds that leap to the bull's eye of a meaning. I think I prefer your version! "Fundus" translates as "bottom" as you so astutely figured out, but it also means "farm"...Perhaps because life for peasants has more or less been, down the centuries, "the pits"?

Popo - back to emptying the hovel...




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Recommend Delete Message 44 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/6/2002 3:01 PM
Draco canem mordet!
Sed canis mordet omniem!!!


Glor, Megn, DA, Iarwain, Zauber, et. al. -- listen well, for you do not yet know your perils! Encouraging Popo's involvement in this volatile situation can be exceedingly dangerous. His heart is a mercenary one, and in the scales of his canine greed he measures all things strictly in terms of self gain, maximizing his own welfare despite the social, moral and economic costs to the community. However much you bribe him now with cakes, and doggie waters in china bowls, his insatiable hungers will soon have him biting the hand that feeds... Did he not swindle me in the sacred division of Skor candy bars? Breaking aforehand (er aforepaw) the solitary chocolate-toffe unit into THREE parts, secreting one by sleight of paw, and only then giving me my choice of the two remaining!

Beneath that fine, red-golden, Saxon fur, the lovable exterior he displays, the rabid dog lies scarcely hid! He is wicked, wily, and wayward -- one day you will awaken to find his wild shadow falls next at YOUR own doors!

Review, if you will, just what this Pup has now accomplished, and judge then, more soberly, the dire course events are like to take should this fangéd hound be left freely to careen both where and when he will, singing latinische ditties beneath the scandalized Moon of Middle-earth!

1. He has "out-sophistried" in terms of subtle disquisition even the professional logorrheics of the GIBOTS and declares by lordly-doggish fiat that the redemptive issues are "unresolved" and indeed unresolvable! This cuts both sides of our debate equally -- the forces of relativism as well as the absolutes are left with NO platform for displaying their competing brands of self-righteous indignation! And the Pup has not even declared us to be in a state of manly (or doggly) "draw," he simply ends it all with a dismissive, sweeping gesture of his tail, indicating his vast boredom with these matters!

What would you have us rather do, Popo -- leave off our fine inquisitions and simply roll in the hedonisms of the canine constant present? Are we to simply "eat-drink-and-be-merry," shake paws, claws, hands and hooves and tumble off as a happy crowd amicably traveling round the parties of this world together? Harumph! Why, I think I smell a whiff of northern pacifism here! Shall the Poodle (Glor) lie down with the Calico Cat (Zauber), DaleAnn leap over the Moon with the Cow, Megn swap family recipes with Grishnakh, and Iarwain runaway with the spoon (so that's what happened to Bilbo's silver)? This reeks of accomodationism! "Helm hard over, Mister Popo! These be dangerous waters!"

2. Popo, who knows by intimate retrieval experience, ALL the devious ways a ball may bounce, refutes Megn's claim to the absolute certitude that balls, whichever direction they may take when hit or thrown, come reliably back to the hand that drops them... (Iarwain offers deeper proofs of this as well through the allusive magics of physics and chemistry!) So, reflect here, Megn, that though this Pup has discomfited the Dragon seriously -- re: duct tape and rusty staple guns! -- he has equally scrambled your own slender hopes of victory!

3. And now, to the moral issues!

JRRT slid into Middle-earth with several bold prejudices, one against the corporate tide of fortune 500 capitalism, and a second strictly forbidding any of that s_xy stuff -- no matter how tastefully projected and portrayed. Yet, with the pandering connivance of Iarwain (still suffering the traumae of his contretemps with raging steeds and uncontrollable speeds -- was there some head wound he does not yet wish to reveal?) Popo has now been introduced to that "fast" pooch, the charming, but dubious of virtue, Taco-Choco! What horrid and disgusting rituals of a "pair-bonding" sort might not this un-hobbitish union soon introduce to a gendered but s_xless Middle-earth!? Say what ills you wish of Dragons, but not once have they committed a "schmoochable" offense!

And what of the charges of kidnapping, er Goblin snatching, slave trading and those activities likely to destroy a perfectly sound barter economy? Poor Grunt, a harmless soul (JRRT was not quite certain he could get away with denying created, sentient, sapient beings their right to bear and tarnish their own souls) has been scrobbled, and tossed unprepared into the wage-slavery of Herr Bilbische's sweat factory, corner market! A once proud, and loud belching fellow, Grunt now practices polite nods and smiles as he scampers about, white-aproned, assisting little old hobbit lady's doing their daily shopping! If this is the sort of "redeemabilty" the Popo solution offers, then the price of rehabilitation seems far too dear to pay!

And NOW, all trade, swop, and barter emporia from Nobottle to Dale are switching over to a strict cash and carry trade (bring a redeemable Goblin in, carry him right back out!). Capitalism has become entrenched in the Shire, its moneyed, economic system will now insure the rise of distinct classes and initiate all the sad conflicts that worker exploitation and the expropriation of the masses do entail!



**************


Having finished his practice exhortation in front of Megn's bathroom mirror, and scrubbed half a tube of her flower-scented toothpaste across his yellowing fangs, the SGD decided to rejoin the party throng, gobble some cake, flip Popo's dish over with a "careless" step, and swipe DA's pocket dictionary of "insultative latin verses" -- after which he would settle down to the long hard discovery of the true meaning behind the words of Popo's song... "habiteur, habebeo, habeas... fundus = 'rearward portion of a farm = the outback 40 acres,' nah, can't be!"


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Recommend Delete Message 45 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/6/2002 6:10 PM
Tsk, tsk, tsk, see what happens when I am gone for a bit.......why , oh why, do you insist on picking on the Lil'green smoker.......It's not nice to fool with someone that can call upon his 3 freed brothers,all of whom breathe fire....YES I have found the way and opened the dragons gate..but to get through it tires even a wizard such as my self..but you will soon see the pics of the lil green smokers family , and they are NOT amused.........

On a side note to DA..legolas voice calls to me from the mists of time....He begs for justice so he can rest in peace...He told me what happened on that date..You were a BAddddddddd girl.........lol


ROBEDMERLIN- "Defender of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 46 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/6/2002 8:39 PM
RobedMerlin,
Good to see Karo still has his protective Wizard to watch over him, and with friends no less. Would any of them be interested in any genuine Shire silverware?
I myself have no side in this merry war, but as the World Trade Bank says: "Wars good buisness."
I look forward to meeting Karo's noble clan.
Namárië,
Iarwain

[Stormrider]

Message 47 of 69 in Discussion

From: Glorfindle Sent: 9/6/2002 9:35 PM
Alack and a day! Being compared to a French canine ingratiate is hard enough, but to discount Popo's wonderfully succinct and patterless dissertation as a mere triffle was too much to bear. Suffice to say, obvious jealocies are at root here. Methinks certain prosaic scholars are the rudamentary cause for the sectioning of the academia at our site.

Needless to say, walls are being built, scout parties sent out, and CRAM being sold as authentic Lembas to unwary visitors. Wherefore does our hope come? Traditionally, the answer comes from the West. In this case, I pre-suppose the answer is both self-evedentory, and decisive. You either "smoke" or you do not.

Therefore, pick your side, build your walls, dust off Meriam's, and begin the slaying. To the victors lie the spoils, and to the uninitiated, lies the confusion. For all else, we wish you a good day.

Glor


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Recommend Delete Message 48 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/7/2002 2:31 AM
A Way With Words Turns Too Away With Words!
Enough Talking, It's Time to Dance!


"Drat that Popo! I knew his furry-curly looks would oversway the less penetrating minds of this goody-goody crowd! Yeah, I expected Megn, DA, Zauber and them gurlz to go goofy over the Mutt -- but even the poodle-cut Glorfindle?! Sheesh!" The Dragon was visibly upset, and getting visibly greener as a fine over-coating of reptilian jealosy turned him positivly verdant.

"Sure, this 'Ole Tail Wagger' is debonaire, speaks latinate languages like a chihuahua, dances with the rhumba-grace of a Frederico Astaire -- but certainly the well-honed minds of the TR intelligentsia can see right through his 'Sooo Hot' facade! You'd think that they had learnt this lesson well enough after the Legolas debacle! But here they go again! Oh well, its obviously NOT what you say that counts, nor even HOW you say it, but HOW YOU LOOK while saying it! And then that mangy Pup has the arrogance to best me in the composition of clever poetries... humpf, bet he paid Iarwain fer them rhymes..." the rest of his complaint tailed off into mere grumbles of a deep, Draconic distress.

"Well, there's more than one way to skin a Pup, and flay a Megn, or even eviscerate a pesky Glorfindle..." and then there came a low and horrid chortling, like some Trollish big kettle coming to a cannibalic boil. A heavy fume and reeking smoke went up, filling the close dank airs of Megn's bathroom; and the Birthday Crowd, qued-up politely outside the door, shuddered, muttered, and slowly shuffled away...

Next: How Doom Fell Upon the Party Bungalow, and the fate of the rugosa rose...


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Recommend Delete Message 49 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/7/2002 3:25 AM
A Darker Day of Birthing

Far away in the night's deeper glooms, a fell figure stood. His gesticulating form was surrounded by the eldritch lights of the Dragon Gate. Auroral curtains of vast energy waved opalescent there, tossed by a silent, running current of storm pressed airs. A single BOOM of black thunder without lightning, signaled the rupture of the thinning veils that once had kept quite separate this universe from another. The tall dark trees that bordered the Gate were now wrapped in coruscating sheets of many-coloured flame, and three Great Fire Drakes, panoplied in horn and scale and ivory came rushing through the night.

"ROBEDMERLIN! The Portal has swung wide, the summons that was spoken has been answered, and we who once were banished have returned!"

Their forms were vast beyond all reckoning, their pinionless wings were great folds of the night itself, and supple, twisting necks bore high their long serpentic jaws where fangs were ranged in socketed rows, and gleamed as deadly white as naked bone.

"We have come to rend and tear, and burn. We are the ripping force of vengeance! Where now, O Defender of Dragons, shall we direct our fire?" And the blackness of a starless night was turned into a glory bright, as Dragon Flame burst forth triply hot like three Suns rising to make a red, red day..


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Recommend Delete Message 50 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/7/2002 4:31 AM
Attention Iarwain shoppers!
The blue feather is waveing! Discounted Nomex, Kevlar blend underware all sizes.
Also, on a real tight budget asbestos underware below factory cost. Buy two asbestos and you'll recieve a coupon for a free chest x-ray and prostate check at participating medical facilities.
Remember shop right, shop Iarwain!
Where are moto...er..'this week' is:
"It's lembas trust us, it's just a tad stale, that's why it's so tough!"
We now return to your regularly scheduled program.
Namárië,
Iarwain Inc.
.


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Recommend Delete Message 51 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/7/2002 10:38 AM
Waiting upon the arrival of karo6 and the lil green smoker,we find the crafty wizard ROBEDMERLIN sitting in a forest glade due east of the shire....having taken a liking to the hobbits,he has decided to hang round the shire as much as possible.......so many people,and things, threaten them....and blindly they live on......ROBEDMERLINS vows to do what he can to protect the shire,while there is still time..........

The subject of this pending meeting ? To plan for the destruction of DA's orc rehabilitation facility...The distraction of Illadria's birthday party seems like a perfect cover,and the lil green smokers brothers are itching for some action.Karo 6 's presense is needed for two reasons..it will be his job to warn the orc's to get out before the dragons arrive ,and the 2nd...............

A special mesage from the ghost of legolas for his ears only.....I would not want to be DA or Megn1 when this plan comes to fruition...Buwha ha ha ha.............


ROBEDMERLIN- "Defender of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 52 of 69 in Discussion

From: Popo Sent: 9/7/2002 10:42 PM
The Pup is does not remain silent regarding Karo's calumnies out of choice - he remains silent because he is not moved.

But, oh my! Word reaches him of awakening dragons and the arrival of Great Fire Drakes - from the East presumably, the cardinal source of much exotica - and he only has time to dream! Not of a dog-eat-dog world, but of a doggie-dog one!

Such patter (thank you Glor!)...Dragons, Fire Drakes! The very words awaken Popo to the salivating prospect of great ritual feasts to enliven middling Earth and its provincials - Peking Duck, self-roasted to a turn, disjointed (he'll see to that!) accordion paper dragons ondulating in conga lines, borne by emboldened chihuahuas and (birthday) party faithfuls - little poodle-shaped chrysanthemums cut from redundant asbestos underwear! A fusion feast that owes nothing to belchy threats from on high and much to Popo's ideas of how the U.N. should be run. YUM!

Place holder for picturedog on wheels

Gotta run!!!

Popo



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Recommend Delete Message 53 of 69 in Discussion

From: Karo6 Sent: 9/7/2002 11:04 PM
See! Now how's a gourd-shaped, minor dragon with MAJOR allergies gonna compete with such a sleek, racing hound? Think I'll give up now and turn my claws to more productive work: got half of Megn's cake platter glued up right nicely -- may as well finish the job in time fer her NEXT birthday, hee hee, guess what she'll get from me...>


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Recommend Delete Message 54 of 69 in Discussion

From: Illadria Sent: 9/10/2002 12:05 PM
FEAR! FIRE! FOES!

Ack! RobedMerlin, what have you done?! 3 More dragons? As we did not already have enough to contend with? And what can we expect from these? (other than the destruction of my birthday party and the demolition of my home) My brain hurts already trying to wrap it's puny little self around Karo's words. And now there will be more???

FEAR! FIRE! FOES!

This is a call to arms. All who can hear (see) my words, arm yourselves, the war is on! RobedMerlin, the rascal, has unleashed havoc on our peaceful community.

FEAR! FIRE! FOES!

note to Iarwain: for the good of all your fire gear will be confiscated and doled out as needed.

~Illadria


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Recommend Delete Message 55 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/13/2002 3:43 PM
Illadria: you have nothing to fear, unless you come wielding swords as that vicious DA and Megn1 did to poor belated Legolas...The dragon's goal is thus....1- the utter destruction of that dastardly orc rehab facility, which was just a cover to murder the poor orcs......2-a private job on behalf of the afore-mentioned Legolas, who seems to have befriended the dragons on the other side of the gate..3- they seem to have taken a liking to the hobbits and thusly they have put the area of the shire under their protection.......

So just stay awya from the orc rehab place and dont bother the hobbits and all will be well.......As a side note..there is no need to take up e1's fire materials..All 3 of the little green smokers family members are fire - breathers in their own right and have no need of such things




RESPECTFULLY: robedmerlin-"Defender of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 56 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/15/2002 9:18 PM
A new matter presents itself for the concern of this single, semi-old wizard...Me thinks that i may have been too hasty in my judgement of DA and Megn1.......Since they have failed to respond to the gauntlet I have thrown down..me thinks that maybe they are not as fearsome as originally thought...........

We hesitate to attack the orc-rehab facility until the orcs on the lower levels can be freed.........I do not want to cause the harm of innocents......Perhaps, with respect to the orc rehab facility, a more peaceful solution can be arranged.........

ROBEDMERLIN - "Protector of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 57 of 69 in Discussion

From: Zauber Sent: 9/16/2002 7:17 AM
Ah Merlin. I am glad you are willing to contemplate a more reasonable approach to the orc rehabilitation center. I truly think you ought to take a TOUR of the facilities. There have been some derogatory rumors floating about these boards, seemingly spurred on by NON-rehabbed orcs.

Rehabiliation is not a quick fix, and the orcs are neither captive nor seduced into the center; it is strictly on a volunatary basis. We have had a few successes, and when their reconstructive surgery has finished, a number of orcelves will be joining the larger community. Our model students have been mastering meaningful trades and working in various healing modalities, and we are quite proud of thier work.

I myself, am greatful to your defending of dragons, but egging them on is not exactly defending them. Really, they can be hot tempered enough! If you feel a need to encourage them, it may be beneficial to foster their intellectual and literary persuits, as our prime example, the Green Smoker, has been doing. This is a constructive use of that fiery energy, that benefits both dragons and others.

Very nice to see you back from the Gate and posting again. And welcome to the new dragons!

Zauber



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Recommend Delete Message 58 of 69 in Discussion

From: sparrow Sent: 9/16/2002 8:05 AM
Maybe the next project could be a dragon rehab facility.


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Recommend Delete Message 59 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/16/2002 10:22 AM
Hear, Hear, Sparrow! I'm with you.

I'm ready to "rehabilitate" dragons at any time.


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Recommend Delete Message 60 of 69 in Discussion

From: Stormrider Sent: 9/16/2002 10:36 AM
A dragon flame extinguishing and breath freshening center might be a good idea, too.

Stormy


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Recommend Delete Message 61 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/16/2002 11:46 AM
Megn checked her marshmallow supply.

Yep. All set. Hope they get started soon.

The orc rehabilitation center had been a blight on the landscape too long. It's ugly brick and institutional windows were worse than Sandyman's new mill.

And Megn didn't approve of torturing any being. She remembered watching a child try to train a turtle to do tricks. It didn't work, and only frustrated the turtle, who really wanted to be allowed to lay her eggs and get back to the water. So, too, with the orc rehabilitation. You can clean 'em up, you can dress 'em fine, you can teach 'em the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork, but you can't stop 'em from trying to use that fork to gouge your eye out. Let them go, or put them out of their misery.

Now three dragons were on there way to torch the place. Good riddence! She always enjoyed a bonfire...

[Stormrider]

Message 55 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/13/2002 3:43 PM
Illadria: you have nothing to fear, unless you come wielding swords as that vicious DA and Megn1 did to poor belated Legolas...The dragon's goal is thus....1- the utter destruction of that dastardly orc rehab facility, which was just a cover to murder the poor orcs......2-a private job on behalf of the afore-mentioned Legolas, who seems to have befriended the dragons on the other side of the gate..3- they seem to have taken a liking to the hobbits and thusly they have put the area of the shire under their protection.......

So just stay awya from the orc rehab place and dont bother the hobbits and all will be well.......As a side note..there is no need to take up e1's fire materials..All 3 of the little green smokers family members are fire - breathers in their own right and have no need of such things




RESPECTFULLY: robedmerlin-"Defender of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 56 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/15/2002 9:18 PM
A new matter presents itself for the concern of this single, semi-old wizard...Me thinks that i may have been too hasty in my judgement of DA and Megn1.......Since they have failed to respond to the gauntlet I have thrown down..me thinks that maybe they are not as fearsome as originally thought...........

We hesitate to attack the orc-rehab facility until the orcs on the lower levels can be freed.........I do not want to cause the harm of innocents......Perhaps, with respect to the orc rehab facility, a more peaceful solution can be arranged.........

ROBEDMERLIN - "Protector of Dragons"


Reply
Recommend Delete Message 57 of 69 in Discussion

From: Zauber Sent: 9/16/2002 7:17 AM
Ah Merlin. I am glad you are willing to contemplate a more reasonable approach to the orc rehabilitation center. I truly think you ought to take a TOUR of the facilities. There have been some derogatory rumors floating about these boards, seemingly spurred on by NON-rehabbed orcs.

Rehabiliation is not a quick fix, and the orcs are neither captive nor seduced into the center; it is strictly on a volunatary basis. We have had a few successes, and when their reconstructive surgery has finished, a number of orcelves will be joining the larger community. Our model students have been mastering meaningful trades and working in various healing modalities, and we are quite proud of thier work.

I myself, am greatful to your defending of dragons, but egging them on is not exactly defending them. Really, they can be hot tempered enough! If you feel a need to encourage them, it may be beneficial to foster their intellectual and literary persuits, as our prime example, the Green Smoker, has been doing. This is a constructive use of that fiery energy, that benefits both dragons and others.

Very nice to see you back from the Gate and posting again. And welcome to the new dragons!

Zauber



Reply
Recommend Delete Message 58 of 69 in Discussion

From: sparrow Sent: 9/16/2002 8:05 AM
Maybe the next project could be a dragon rehab facility.


Reply
Recommend Delete Message 59 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/16/2002 10:22 AM
Hear, Hear, Sparrow! I'm with you.

I'm ready to "rehabilitate" dragons at any time.


Reply
Recommend Delete Message 60 of 69 in Discussion

From: Stormrider Sent: 9/16/2002 10:36 AM
A dragon flame extinguishing and breath freshening center might be a good idea, too.

Stormy


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Recommend Delete Message 61 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/16/2002 11:46 AM
Megn checked her marshmallow supply.

Yep. All set. Hope they get started soon.

The orc rehabilitation center had been a blight on the landscape too long. It's ugly brick and institutional windows were worse than Sandyman's new mill.

And Megn didn't approve of torturing any being. She remembered watching a child try to train a turtle to do tricks. It didn't work, and only frustrated the turtle, who really wanted to be allowed to lay her eggs and get back to the water. So, too, with the orc rehabilitation. You can clean 'em up, you can dress 'em fine, you can teach 'em the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork, but you can't stop 'em from trying to use that fork to gouge your eye out. Let them go, or put them out of their misery.

Now three dragons were on there way to torch the place. Good riddence! She always enjoyed a bonfire...


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Recommend Delete Message 62 of 69 in Discussion

From: Zauber Sent: 9/16/2002 1:42 PM
Zauber stood on the Orc Rehabilitation Center roof, gnashing her teeth, waving her staff in the air, practicing her line: "YOU CAN NOT PASS!" as she awaited the arrival of the dragons.

Was it the orcs fault they were housed in a substandard and aesthetically displeasing building? King Elessar had not been that forthcoming with the promised funds, so they had had to use the lowest bidder for construction. And cheap contractors did not make alloances for beuatiful structures. And besides, the orcs would get claustrophobic in Hobbit holes.

Smoothing down her asbestos robe and cloak, Zauber wondered if it was a violation of her pacifistic principles to wish that Megn would choke on a marshmallow, and pondered once again why some humans had to be so go'darn predjudiced. Oh well, Megn would be surprised, since Zauber had sent the semi-rehabiltated orcs over to Megn's to stay until the coast was clear.

Anonymous



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Recommend Delete Message 63 of 69 in Discussion

From: Illadria Sent: 9/16/2002 2:34 PM
Illadria was relieved to be rid of the Torrid Trio, and thankful that a suitable use for their skills had been found which would prove proficuous for all. Still, she could no longer enjoy her birthday party, which was only 10 days old, though it was still going strong as most guests were undaunted by the occasional flare-up. She bid farewell to her guests and, no longer concerned about damage to her already ruined home, invited them all to stay and enjoy themselves as long as they liked.
With no other thought, but the welfare of Tolkien's Ring, Illadria set out for Megn's home. She would offer Megn her sword (and bow, and various other inplements of destruction) and stand beside her as she withstood this most heinous assault from Zauber


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Recommend Delete Message 64 of 69 in Discussion

From: RobedMERLIN Sent: 9/16/2002 3:57 PM
The wizard chuckles amusedly, as he sets watching the comings and goings of ME........Zauber standing on top of the facility is a most amusing vision....But i do have a couple od remarks:

Zauber--You have been deceived..There was another post where certain"ladies" of ME bragged of forcing the poor orcs to bat their eyelashes just so , and then lopping off their heads regardless of their "eye lash ability" The posters even bragged of the head rolling on the floor after they had been "removed"..I wont name names, but their initials were DA and Megn1...

Sparrow--- You ask me about defending little brown birds, and then reveal the true nature of your being when offering to "establish" a dragon rehab facility".hmmm i thought you might be called wizardsfriend, but to oppose my purposes and threaten my dragons brands you enemy to the dragons and thus to this wizard as well..Lay on then...I cast down the gauntlet of challenge to you as well...

Zauber__as a side note..I egg on the dragons not.......all i did was to re-open the gate, for them, to enter this side of reality .The egging on was done by the ghost of Legolas who made their aquaintance on the other side..The Dragons never have liked sword weilding women, and when they learned of Legolas fate at the hands of DA and Megn1 , it was more then they could take..

Stormrider---- i leave you till last cause you cause the least amount of concern to the Dragons......But a Dragon "breath freshening " facility.....The dragons feel the same way about humans.......And besides, they love horse w/ barbecue sauce..lol

Well now with issues adressed i go now to lead the dragons on to the orc facility......It will come down......through flame or brute strength....Stay away or get roasted...These boys mean buisness..

ROBEDMERLIN-"Defender of Dragons"


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Recommend Delete Message 65 of 69 in Discussion

From: Illadria Sent: 9/16/2002 7:06 PM
"Megn is a great warrior." Thought Illadria. "Quite possibly the greatest orc slayer of this or any age. But many great warriors have fallen before when so outnumbered. No matter what, in this battle at least, she will have me at her side, and together we will stand, or we will fall."

She prepared herself mentally for the great battle she knew was to come. In her mind she considered all the different ways it would go down. When she finally arrived on the great estate, however, she gasped. She had expected many things, not any of which was remotely similar to what she actually found.

There were orcs there, too numerous to count, but besides the orcs were film crews from various agencies. One independent production company was filming a "documentary" called Orcs Gone Wild. MTV was there with full crew and a litter of hedonistic college kids in attendance for a taping of Spring Break, Orc Style, Illadria decided against reminding them that September is technically not considered a spring month. There were News crews in attendance, both local and National. She thought it best to avoid them as much as possible. Some random Dead Heads had set up camp and were selling veggie tacos. Illadria watched in horror as an orc made lunch out of one of the vendors. Zauber had organized a peaceful "sit-in" in front of Megn’s gates, many were wearing t-shirts or carried banners with the words "Megn1 is unfair to Orcs!" displayed. Meanwhile Joan Baez led the protesters in a rousing rendition of "All we are saying is give orcs a chance."

As Quickly as was possible, Illadria made her way through the din. As she neared the gate however, she was accosted by Peter Jennings, who demanded to know how she could sleep at night knowing that orcs were being slain simply for doing what they were bred to do. Without slowing her pace, she punched him square in the nose and continued on her way.



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Recommend Delete Message 66 of 69 in Discussion

From: Glorfindle Sent: 9/16/2002 7:34 PM
We wonders why this is not on the Role-play board, yessss, we wonders......

Glor


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Recommend Delete Message 67 of 69 in Discussion

From: megn1 Sent: 9/16/2002 7:42 PM
Glor,

Forces muster, weapons are sharpened, and armies prepare for war, but they cannot always choose where the battle will occur.

You are right that this belongs there. And you've told us so before. Perhaps this time I will give in, and move it.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP!!

The Great War is moving.

All posts that you wanted to put here, please post on the role play board of the same name.



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Recommend Delete Message 68 of 69 in Discussion

From: IarwainBen-adar1 Sent: 9/16/2002 8:33 PM
I'm soooo confused!
And what happened to all mt asbestos and nomex/kevlar underware Illadria? Punched Peter Jennings in the nose? Hmmmmm..... Okay your forgiven for giving away my war profit underware. So I posted here cause I just got back, sorry Glor! Haven't seen the threads in Role Play, I look forward to it though!
Good to see things are still "heating up" on the front.
Namárië,
Iarwain


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Recommend Delete Message 69 of 69 in Discussion

From: Illadria Sent: 9/16/2002 8:40 PM
Iarwain! Your back!!!

We've missed you Bud. Now get over to The Great War with any and all asbestos and nomex/kevlar underware you still have in your possesion...the future of TR may very well be in your hands.

um...uh yeah...Welcome back,
Illadria