Poetry workshops?

Poetry workshops? Feb 13, 2009 8:50:08 GMT -6

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Post by Andorinha on Feb 13, 2009 8:50:08 GMT -6

Editor's Note (Andorinha): Because the links to other TR MSN archives may soon be lost, I'll append here the relevant messages from Kendal's "The Perils of Poetry," (from the Role Play section). _______________________________________________________________
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Message 1 of 16 in Discussion
From: Kendal
Sent: 6/19/2003 7:07 AM

The Perils of Poetry

Sometimes things just grow by topsy-turvy accretion, and reconfirm the lack of reliable control we may exert upon and over our environments, both real, and imaginary. So it is that the dastardly "Kendal The Over Quick," has broached by sheerest accident a bantering topic upon the "Original Poetry Board," that should best have been started here instead (Role Play). My apologies to all concerned, especially Sparrow, whose message I completely misread in the paranoia of my usual 3 AM coffee jag. I have strewn the bricks of the patio with delectable seeds as a sort of pale compensation, and if she's quick she can still find a suitable share among the congregating finches, doves, and quail. Failing that attempted bribe I'll try to "square" things by being on my "best behavior" the rest of my sojourn here upon the pages of TR. (Whew, that "best behavior" thing is vague enough to cover all sorts of shenanigans...)

And so, not to merely "answer back" the "misinforming" trend that has lately occurred on that misused* thread, "May Poetry Contest Winners," but just to leave an absolutely true record of those time-clouded events, I will retell, in a fully objective manner, this cautionary tale: "The Perils of Poetry."

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Message 2 of 16 in Discussion
From: Kendal
Sent: 6/19/2003 8:03 AM

Now it is agreed by all those who are agreeable persons that poetry has a fine and awful power to stir even the calm, sedate and well-mannered to a bold excess of their emotions. While all of us, I doubt it not, might happily wish to believe that only the human virtues may thus be galvanized into external expression by the joyous play of pattern-matched words and phrases, it is, nonetheless an unfortunate but necessary corollary that our human vices may likewise find an equal intensification through poetics.

So it was, as a public service, that the concerned and sensitive Kendal did suggest that all poetry be henceforth banned at Tolkien's Ring, seeing the great damage that its unlimited exposure upon these pages was likely to occasion. But Olorie and Sparrow, not yet fully informed of the horrors of poetry, sadly forbade the erasure of all those potent rhymes. Here then, as a suasive device, is the admonitory tale of one poetry reader's slow collapse of character, and sliding descent into the pits of versification!

Kendal, coveting the easy flow of actual rhymes that poured forth so volubly from McDLT, Illadria, Fangorn, Sparrow, and Majahsheart found his first temptation, and scribbled down a poem of his own. It met with high success (bribes I suspect), and from this small beginning, in his growing pride, he decided to start collecting rhyming pairs of words so that his poetries might soar a little further. But he was alas, too inept and lazy to find many rhymes that were suitably innovative. No matter what happy meter and schemes he tried, the others had always been there first, "Moon, June, and Spoon," were claimed by Majah; Sparrow, in raven's guise, was constantly "quothing nevermores;" McDLT had locked up "home, alone, own," and probably "bone, stone, and loan" as well. "Muppet - Puppet," Kendal tried, but that belonged to Illadria, along with "spell, fell, and pell-mell," or was that pall-mall? Fangorn had wrapped his clinging branches about "fears, years, and careers." Except for the un-rhymables like "Orange," everything was taken!

Quite honestly, all the poems from all the archived sources on TR had managed after just a few years to parcel out for private ownership every single pairing possible! Alliterations, consonances, assonances, and Anglo Saxon kennings -- ALL USED UP!

In absolute despair, poor Kendal tried to remove himself from the wicked paths of poetry, but the stuff kept cropping up everywhere, so finally he dared end this stuff that snared, by getting it banned both here and there. But the genuine poetic spirit enthused too many of these TR members, and the proposed ban was quickly defeated, and Kendal then retreated to the use of subterfuge. If only he could drive a wedge, a breaking edge, or several, amongst these rhymesters, set them to a mutual slaughter so effectively ghastly that nevermore would line scan, and "tree" be linked with "free!" And so, it was the fault of poetry that Kendal fell beneath that spell of compulsive misery, and tweaked the collective beak of TR's finest versifiers. His first attempts at closely reasoned conspiracy were directed towards Majah, Illadria and Fangorn, all three far gone and irredeemable poetizers...

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Message 3 of 16 in Discussion
From: Kendal
Sent: 6/19/2003 8:39 AM

Kendal, a miserable, lying, hobbit-sized fellow, first libeled Majah's poem, and then, callously callow, tried to rat it off as Fangorn's work, and then Illadria's. Majah made several positive threats against the bodily integrity of poor Kendal, or at least his bodily comfort, when she revealed her adept status in the casting of various and sundry spells of a quite pronouncedly ticklish nature.

Kendal then resorted to an appeal by "borrowed" rhymes to redirect Majah's ire toward a more convenient target:

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Foul rose the noxious steams
from the great, dark pot,
that Majah had set to the boil,
as wrapped in black dreams,
and hideous thought,
she stooped to her ghastly toil.

Well, Majah, as you brew up this "ticklish" spell, I'll see if my already itching feet can find the physical limits of your casting powers -- still running!

Er, did I mention that Illadria is actually well within range, and slumbering peacefully (stationary target!) as she composes her quatrains for the next contest? You know, it might be just as well to nip her highly competitive skills before they are honed any sharper...

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Well, this I deem, brings us up to that point where Kendal mistook a Sparrow for a diving Falcon, and scampered away on mice-like legs so quickly that the vacuum he left behind him quite sucked away all of his words... Please be advised that Majah's magics were still cooling upon the window sill, and had not yet been utilized when Kendal took to his heels.

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There followed then a brief period of confusion, until Illadria posted her admirably phrased, prose version of the episode, which forced poor Kendal into a direct confrontation with all the principles of this story -- BUT, in the interests of that miserable creature, Kendal, I think I should narrate a more fulsome version so that the magnitude of his poetry driven madness and subsequent crimes might serve as a more potent warning to all those who still refuse to see the Perils of Poetry.

[Andorinha: Continued as "The Perils of Poetry," on the Role Play board.]

Post by Andorinha on Feb 13, 2009 8:35:04 GMT -6

Post by Andorinha on Feb 13, 2009 8:50:08 GMT -6