Wk. 7 Ch. 9 Parental figures and independence

[Sparrow]

After Bilbo reveals himself to his companions imprisoned in the Elvenking's dungeon, the Dwarves decide to trust Bilbo to find a way to rescue them, and the narrator comments this is, "Just what Gandalf had said would happen. . . . Perhaps that was part of his reason for going off and leaving them." Gandalf had already done so various times previously. Is Gandalf something of a father figure to the adventurers? Is this similar to how parents teach their children to be independent? How did your parents teach you to separate from them, or how have you taught your child(ren) to develop their own independence?

[Desi Baggins]

Gandalf is sort of a father figure, he is indeed a leader that they all look up to. As we know from reading other books Gandlaf had very important buisness to attend to and that is why he left Bilbo and the dwarves. I think he knew that Bilbo was very capable of surviving what was ahead of him and that Thorin was very stubborn and would need Bilbo to help him out of some things.

I do not recall being taught to be independent; however, having a 4 year right now allows me to see how this slowly happens. I remember when he was 2 yrs. old and he went to a babysitter and at first he cried when I left him, but soon he was kissing me goodbye right away. He learned that I always came back for him and that he had fun without me. Now that he is 4 yrs. old he is in pre-K and loves it. He has been able to make his own friends without the help of mom. He now puts on his own shoes and is getting good at dressing himself. I think most of his learning comes from watching me or me showing him. You can't just tell some one how to do something, they have to experience it. Every day is a learning experience!

[Greenleaf]

I have always considered Gandalf as a father figure. As Desi said, Gandalf had other business to attend to when he left Thorin & company but in doing so he also reinforced their self-confidence, as they now had to rely on their own selves. Whether it was deliberate or not (and I'm inclined to believe it was), he did teach them how to be independent.

In this respect, my father was a lot like Gandalf. He never forced me to do anything; he was always there for me and offering me his counsel, of course, but he let me learn my lessons through my own experience. He was the perfect father figure for me. My mother, on the other hand... lol, she is still an overprotective mom, even though I'm now in my mid-thirties. I think she will never grow out of this. If I had only her I would never had learned to be independent (don't misunderstand me though; I love her very much).

[Desi Baggins]

Sometimes it is a very good thing to have 2 parental beings. I have a girl friend who is a hair dressor and didn't allow her daughter to wash her own hair until she was in 7th grade! I remember my friend saying to me (after her daughter was doing it on her own) "I know she isn't rinsing well enough she walks around itching her head". I guess she should have started letting her trying rinsing it a long time ago so in 7th grade she could do it. I am already helping my 4 year wash his own.